When you feel stuck in the same patterns, no matter how hard you try…
- You love each other—but conversations quickly become tense, defensive, or unproductive.
- The ease, laughter, and friendship that once came naturally now feel distant or effortful.
- You find yourself feeling misunderstood, dismissed, or “wrong” in your partner’s eyes.
- The connection feels uneven—one of you reaches while the other pulls away.
- You’ve stopped feeling proud of or impressed by each other, even though you want that back.
- The distance feels louder than the arguments—you’re together, but it feels lonely.You wonder whether this is just a phase—or if something deeper has changed.These aren’t random issues—they’re part of a pattern. And patterns can be understood and changed.
Couples Therapy
Move from tolerated coexistence to a partnership you can count on...
Most couples I work with aren’t lacking love—they’re stuck in patterns they don’t fully understand.
You’ve probably tried to talk things through. You may have read the books, listened to the podcasts, or even tried therapy before.
But somehow, the same conversations keep happening—and the same disconnection keeps showing up.
That’s where I come in.
I help couples identify the patterns they’re caught in, understand why they keep happening, and learn how to change them—so conversations feel more productive, connection feels more natural, and the relationship feels like a team again.
The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy developed from over 40 years of studying what makes relationships succeed or struggle. This research has identified specific interaction patterns that reliably predict relationship distress—such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and withdrawal—as well as the behaviors that help couples stay connected, like repair attempts, emotional responsiveness, and maintaining a strong foundation of friendship. At its core, this method helps us identify the specific patterns that lead to conflict, disconnection, or emotional distance.
- Conversations that escalate quickly
- Defensiveness or feeling misunderstood
- One partner pursuing while the other withdraws
- Repeated arguments that never fully resolve
You may recognize some of these patterns:
Rather than focusing on who’s right or wrong, we focus on what’s happening between you. From there, we work to:
- Interrupt negative cycles
- Build safer, more productive conversations
- Strengthen friendship, trust, and emotional connection
- Develop skills for repair when things go off track
This creates a foundation for a relationship that feels more stable, responsive, and connected
Methods of Therapy I use
Turning Insight into Real Change in Your Relationship
TEAM stands for:
- Testing – understanding what’s happening
- Empathy – feeling understood and supported
- Agenda Setting – working through ambivalence about change
- Methods – using specific tools to create real shifts
TEAM-CBT helps bridge that gap by focusing on what actually happens in real conversations between you and your partner. A key part of this approach is also looking honestly at motivation. At times, couples can feel stuck not because they don’t understand the problem—but because part of them is still hoping their partner will change first. We gently explore that dynamic together:
- Are you open to doing something different—even if your partner hasn’t changed yet?
- Are you willing to shift how you show up in the relationship?
This isn’t about blame—it’s about helping each of you take meaningful ownership of your role in the pattern, so change becomes possible.